My Person of Everything

In this society of ours each one is expected to satisfy certain criteria to earn the respect of others. Irrespective of rich or poor, North, South, West or East, Hindu, Christian or Muslim, there is a checklist forced on us. Men- they do not have a choice but to be the bread winner of the family. Women on the other hand, are pictured different. Live within the boundaries that our ‘tradition’ lays, decent education in the ‘modern’ days, to get married and have children. Since the very beginning of time, ‘to have children’ is considered a blessing.

Somehow our society is intolerant to the childless. Most of the time men escape the stinging words of those around. It’s usually women who are forced to live through this devastating situation.

They are considered unlucky, disgrace, a symbol of sorrow and despair. Regardless of what a woman has achieved, if she cannot bring forth the next generation; she is null, void. This life of a woman is nothing less than experiencing hell. She has to quietly bear the suffering, fake a smile and continue to carry out her everyday chores.

This life of hell is what my mother experienced for 15 years. After she was married, just like any other woman, she longed for motherhood. But it took a decade and a half for it to happen. These 15 long years couldn't have been easy.

She had to ignore the disgusting stares of those in the family, with a harden heart hear the words of the doctors when they said ‘You will never have a child’, live without a hold in life and struggles every minute which deep down her heart still remains unerased.

I came as an answer to the numerous questions and a source of joy after all the years of hardships. What could be more special to hold me for the first time, her little one, her own. From then to now, her world is spun around me, her dreams became mine and mine are hers. I’m 21 but the bond between us was created 15 years before I first saw the world. The divine bond that unknown to anybody else. 

Certain qualities are taught while few others are inherited. To be tolerant, to be humble, sometimes to let go and sometimes to be a get getter- these weren't taught to me, I acquired rather inherited from her. She has been everything that I could ask for- mentor, critic, teacher, friend and above all my first expert, my mom.

SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY

Scribbling thoughts can be hard at two instances. First, when thoughts aren't clear or when they are too many. Second is when emotions make words murky. In my case it is the second. Needless to say when one has lived a life that is more a fairy tale.

As a fresh school girl I entered this place, it was indeed strange. The uncomfortable feeling that ruled me cannot be descried. It was the first day at KCT and I was preparing for my orientation session with many hundreds. Each one of us was experiencing the same feeling but all by ourselves. I couldn't have felt lonelier with a thousand people around. I said a prayer that none heard, “God help me survive!” I started my college journey with many warnings and advice. Professors, heads of departments, seniors, semesters, CGPA, arrears, attendance percentage, projects, internships and placements; scary enough for a person who till then lived in a shell.

First few months, I had the typical life of a fresher. Close to thousand students all in one block was both easy and difficult to get introduced to. Classrooms and new friends were good enough for an amazing college life, I misjudged. The first year rolled by, slipped away in front of my eyes.

Second year took a diversion. First interaction with seniors, first experience of being part of clubs and forums, first taste of business and a lot more! When I knew there is recruitment for KCT’s first student startup, I wanted to enroll myself in the recruitment process. Frankly, I wasn’t very keen in business but inquisitive as I am, I wanted to know what it was before saying ‘NO’ and also for the ‘know- how’ of an interview process for all the hype it carries. Happy by chance I was selected as a member of this campus business which was truly more than being a student entrepreneur.

From then on, college was all different. Thanks to those lucky stars for introducing me to a group of friends who gave friendship its style. Within us, we knew no law. Every moment was braided with laughter, chatter, outings and togetherness. Namma café, beyond any question or doubt, you are the reason for many smiles.

The fairy tale doesn’t stop. Fondness to debate, madness to question everything and yearning to learning more- these attributes were favoured by the inception of Qubate Forum. Here again got introduced to so many KCTians, few of them for life.   

Forthwith came numerous responsibilities. With each I grew; I transformed. Department symposiums, a legion of events and endless getting to knows.

Yugam is another special memory. Stretched limits, made me do what I previously considered impossible. Late night working hours, meeting, preparation and most of all getting to meet people for the first time in four years and in very short time becoming great friends- possible only here!

To think, it will soon come to a halt I’m reminded of the little prayer on my first day ‘Help me survive’.

Through these years, I realize that did not just survive; I evolved. While preparing me to face the world this place also gave me numerous recollections to hold on. When will I next play those childish games in class? Will the four-corner hear my nick names? When will I next sit in those café tables? Those last minute internal preparations, unrehearsed seminars, searching for notes, crowded Xerox shops, many hi and hellos on the way, silly jokes and laughter, when next?

Now I have no choice but to step into the cruel world. But college life will always remain irreplaceable.

To each one of you, I just want to say ‘You have made a big difference and you are truly special, Thank you!’